The Return of The Golden Age

My friend Rajat is feeling much more historically relevant nowadays. He is a Gupta, and he has just realised that when the Guptas ruled India, we were all very prosperous and happy.

“It was India’s golden age, dude,” Rajat told me the other day at work. “There was so much gold and stuff, you know? It was, like, flowing, man. During the Gupta Age, India was called the Golden Hind, dude.”

“Don’t be silly,” I said. “It’s not Golden Hind. It is Golden Hind. And that is something totally different. I don’t remember exactly. Some ship or something. Nothing to do with you Guptas.” (I had history subsi in college). But, Rajat ignored me completely. He wasn’t going to let facts interfere with his recently acquired sense of historical purpose.

“Do you know, in those days Indians roamed around in golden chariots? They had big golden thrones to sit on. We were so rich that even Alexander the Great came from Italy to try and conquer us.”

“Alexander wasn’t from Italy. He was Greek or Macedonian or something,” I said 

“Alexander came to the borders of the Ganga in Bihar and the Guptas killed him in battle,” Rajat said.

“That’s rubbish,” I said, “completely wrong. Where are you getting all this from?”

“India has such a great history, man,” Rajat continued. “We are just ignoring our tradition. If we pay attention to history no one can stop us from having another Golden Age, dude.”

“How? What do chariots and thrones have to do with what we are today?” I asked. It was a rhetorical question, because Rajat was going to ignore it.

“Trade, man, trade. That is in our blood – the Gupta blood. We need to become rulers of India again. You can also help in this, dude. Like Chanakya helped the Guptas. He was the first economist of the world, you know? He balanced the budget so well, that there was no fiscal deficit. Those are the little-little things that made India the Golden Hind.”  

“Are you saying that we should have a Gupta as prime minister?” I asked. “Will that solve all our problems?”

“No, no. I am not saying that,” Rajat said, smiling indulgently at me. “I am saying the Prime Minister can be anybody, but traders should decide economic policy. Gupta Age is not just about Guptas. It is about taking the most important virtue from the Gupta DNA and injecting it into everyone in the country.”

“Free enterprise, man,” said Rajat with historic pride. “We Guptas invented it. Trade, enterprise and private property. That will make India shine again. We need to implement this ruthlessly. Aur jo iske khilaaf honge, unhein chun-chun kar saaf karna hai.”